chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
