I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
