I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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