What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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