I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
