Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
