dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
