what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
