I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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