I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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