Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
