I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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