Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
