Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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