ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
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