I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
