question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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