Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize