I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize