oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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