So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
it's great music for shaving your balls
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.