In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist