So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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