I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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