just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
