based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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