I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
