I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
