What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
The adults are the big ones right?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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