Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
