yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
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im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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