His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
there is puke in my bra ... again
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
