Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
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