maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
