Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
