he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
