the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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