I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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