Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
