My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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