Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize