Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
