Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
