i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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