think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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