talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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