Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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