and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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