wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
it was like eating out sand paper
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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