Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
