I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
