its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
