I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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