I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
