big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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