She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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