he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
