i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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