I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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