help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
