why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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